Parents of The Year

It’s official. We’re being named the Parents of The Year. That’s right,  school even called to confirm it.  On Monday, the 5th of January, we were enjoying a relaxing morning at home, having just returned from our family ski vacation at 2 o’clock in the morning on Sunday, we let the boyz sleep in and were easing back into being home when the phone rang.  Daddy-O answered.  It was school calling. They asked where the boyz were. Daddy-O said, “They’re here at home with us….” then asked, “Why?”  The secretary on the other end of the line explained that school started back that morning and they were missing from their classes and since they hadn’t heard from us they wanted to call to make sure all was OK. Well, it was until now.

That’s right. School was back in session and we had somehow missed the memo that they had changed the school calendar mid-October (due to some teacher’s union change!) and the calendar we were referencing was wrong!

Well, things went from bad to worse as we had to tell the boyz that not only did they not get to hang out in their jammies and play with all their new toys but instead they had to hurry up and get ready for school.

It was like a horrible practical joke!  They all started crying!  Dirty looks were penetrating my soul! Even I was still in my jammies and I had to scramble to pack lunches and I was completely out of sync. I couldn’t remember if they had any homework or if we needed to turn in library books, who wanted salami and cheese and who wanted peanut butter and jelly?  And the choir of cries only crescendoed.

My parting words as we left the house were “Well, this will be one you’ll tell your children!”

Eventually we got things sorted out and we scrambled out the door and over to school.  I walked them in and the secretaries explained that there were two other families who did the same thing.  It only helped a little – at least there was fair competition in which family was to earn the title of Parent of the Year.

I’m not sure how we’ll ever live that one down!!

Thanks, Great Kate!

Every year, my mom’s best friend, whom we call Aunt Kate, generously buys Christmas gifts for all my kids. The kids call her Great Kate – and she is – in so many ways! I think of her near daily as I’m pursuing to raise boyz – or at least safely escort them to adulthood –as she successfully raised two of her own.  She had two boys and my mom had two girls. Growing up we would often get together to go swimming in their pool or have them down to the lake for weekend adventures. Life with her two boys were always adventures! Especially when Jamie tried to convince Tommy to ride his tricycle off the roof! Or when Tommy and I went swimming in the bathtub together!  It wasn’t until later that I understood why we always stopped by Aunt Kate’s to show her our prom dresses or when we were older she joined us for fittings for our wedding dresses. But when I was a little girl, I always remember she always generously gave us the most wonderful girl gifts for Christmases through the years – monogrammed jewelry boxes that made music when you lifted the lids, pretty silver necklaces, jewelry from her exotic travels and the most memorable –  beautiful bride dolls that looked liked us – each very thoughtful and special treasures that I still have today!

But having raised boys, Great Kate “gets it” and she applies her thoughtful art of gift giving to the task each Christmas.  Somehow she’s always able to pick just the thing that each of our boyz is into that year – last year she gave Kiefer a floating soccer disc that had rubber bumpers on it and lights up when you kick it and it bounces into the baseboards and slides around the kitchen floor – he still plays with it near daily! And she gave Carter a geology rock kit full of geodes, a hammer, eye goggles, a microscope and tweezers where he could hammer the stones open and investigate their crystal centers.  There’ve been lego kits, light up race cars, science experiments – you name it.  Each a boy’s dream come true!

And this year raised the bar even higher with an electricity conduction kit that lights up for Kiefer, a lego kit with gears and an idea book for Griffin, a puzzle with winde up cars that ride the puzzle tracks for Fletcher.  But the piece de resistance — a Nerf cross bow and arrow set for Carter!

This was like the little boy in “The Christmas Story” opening his Red Rider BB gun as Carter opened the box with his mouth wide open as Mom doesn’t allow Nerf guns in the house. But since it was from Great Kate, it was the exception.

For the remainder of Christmas day Nerf arrows were zinging past my head – the breeze blowing my hair up and near misses left and right.  There were near misses of lamps and arrows landing in the fireplace. We all laughed and tolerated the torment hoping the newness would wear off soon.  The day after Christmas their aim got better and I was being struck with the arrows while my back was turned. Again, we’d laugh it off. After all, it’s Christmas.

Soon, Fletcher became interested in the cross bow.  Actually, more like obsessed.  You see, his favorite thing in the whole wide world is his toy sword and sheath that hangs on his belt. He got it for his birthday last June and he still sleeps with it most nights and wears it on his waist belt most days.  He’s obsessed with weaponry.  He makes me fight him in the kitchen as he’ll dig out my turkey baster and my dough hook from my cooking utensil drawer and will place them in my hands saying “You’re Captain Hook, Mommy, and I’m Peter Pan.”  Then I’ll join in and start speaking in my best pirate voice, “Arrrgggghhh! Have Ye Seen My nemesis Peter Pan?” And we’ll continue to sword fight in the kitchen – sometimes ending in the demise of Captain Hook.  Yes, I’d say obsessed is putting it lightly. Then I made the mistake of introducing him to the world of Narnia and now he rotates through being Peter Pan or King Peter the Great from Narnia, and sometimes I get to be the White Witch and other times I get to be Lucy.  (I much prefer Lucy.)

So a few days after Christmas, I wasn’t entirely surprised to hear a large crashing sound in our front hallway.  I came running from the kitchen and before I got all the way there I heard a faint “I’m sorry, Mommy….” from the top of the staircase.  My next observation was that our large brass chandelier that hangs in our entry way was swinging back and forth with great gusto and the loud crashing sound was the obvious demise of the wooden divided light window pane that had fallen from our second story entry window after being hit by a Nerf cross bow arrow and had crashed to the ground.

I’m not sure what gave him the idea to practice target shooting from the top of the stairs – it must be a boy thing. He’d already apologized and he obviously had not meant to cause such damage and I’m grateful to report that I actually didn’t over react this time.  I just calmly walked to the top of the stairs and gently removed the cross bow from the four year old’s hands, then I picked up the stray arrows that were strewn about the front entry way and I walked them outside to the garage where I disposed of them properly.  Sorry, Great Kate.  He liked it a little too much.

Daddy-O went to work with his wood glue and clamps and had the window pane pieced back together and back in the window the next day.

Now I have to figure out how exactly to word all this in a proper thank you note for Great Kate. But she had boys… she’ll understand.  In fact, I bet she’ll laugh her hearty laugh.  After all, she “gets it.”

Mom’s Top Ten (actually 11) Christmas Memories from 2014

11. Can I add an 11th? The boys were so excited to put up our Christmas tree the day after Thanksgiving! They were literally running around the house putting their trees up in their rooms or helping with other tasks. Digging through the gigantic boxes for ornaments and helping test the strands Christmas lights.  Fletcher woke up the day after Thanksgiving and said “It’s Christmas!!!” because to him, Christmas begins when we put the decorations up.  I don’t do a lot of things well as a mother, but I’m pleased that we have set aside the whole month of December to ‘celebrate’ Christmas and that has made a lasting impression on them!


10. Seeing the Yuletide christmas concert through the eyes of a child! Fletcher asking about the puppet Santa, “How did he do that?” “He was REAL!” “He even wiggled!” Fighting the boys to all wear their matching outfits. The oldest put up the biggest fight! Striped socks hanging over the edge of the chairs in the Circle Theatre. Eating Candy Cane Cookies at intermission. Walking around the corner as we were leaving to see the Christmas lights on the Circle. Griffin & Fletcher reviewing it at breakfast the next morning saying, “That Opera Lady didn’t know how to sing ‘Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer’” then imitating her operatic singing style! 🙂

9.  Making Christmas cookies, and more Christmas cookies and more Christmas cookies! And then inviting the neighborhood kids to help us make cookies. There was flour EVERYWHERE! And the look in their eyes when we invited them to join us making cookies. Then on little boy asked Carter, ‘Won’t your dad be mad about all this mess?” and Carter answered, “Nope!”  Hosting a cookie party for several of our school friends and their moms the afternoon before the last day of school. Decorating cookies with Shannon down at the lake the weekend before Christmas.

8.Fletcher’s preschool Christmas program. Seeing him sing all the words and trying not to smile wearing his cute red sweater.

7. Serving together at the Lord’s Pantry food pantry downtown. Praying together before the shoppers came in “Give us this day, our daily bread.”…. grateful for our many blessings. Griffin saying in the car on the way there, “I feel sorry for the people who live in these houses.” Carter totally stepping up to hand out treat bags to the kids with cheer and hospitality.

6. Going to the Children’s museum one afternoon after school for an hour before they closed and getting to see Santa without a wait! And riding the carol-sel – because they played Christmas carols as they rode it!

5. Going to the lake the weekend before Christmas and decorating the house for Christmas, going for a walk in the woods, the boys wearing their hunting garb, surprising Creepy, Sandy and Shannon and Creepy saying, “I wouldn’t be more surprised if I woke up with my face sewn to the carpet!” 🙂 Sitting by the fire, watching Christmas movies and icing Christmas cookies with Shannon – and eating a ton of cookies before dinner!

4.Reading Christmas stories by the fire several evenings before bedtime. And peppermint hot cocoa overflowing in Santa cups with a straw all month long!

3.The boys having a “sleep over” as they camped out on the floor in front of the fire and underneath the Christmas tree and slept there all night! And another night had a “Christmas Music Dance Party!” (Why they take their shirts off for dance parties is another blog for another time! )

2. Seeing Christmas through the eyes of a child! Hearing them discuss things like “Sam on the bus said that Santa’s not real!” and another chiming in, “Oh, well, Santa’s real. Isn’t he, Mom?” or Asking Griffin asking why Santa only brings toys for their stockings and Fletcher answering “Because that’s what the elves make!”  Their excitement and anticipation increasing each day in the month of December and countless requests of “Can we open presents now?” on Christmas eve!!  How they each decorated their own mini Christmas trees in their rooms and enjoying the colorful glow of Christmas lights at bedtime each night. Reading Christmas stories for bedtime!  Leaving cookies for Santa on Christmas Eve. Christmas themed Jammies!  And Then Kiefer excitedly going to bed as soon as we asked him to on Christmas Eve and falling asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow so he could fall asleep fast Christmas eve and Carter saying he was going to stay up to listen for reindeer bells, and then everyone else agreeing, “Yea, I’m going to listen too!” Even Kiefer said, “I’m going to listen in my sleep!” Yes, the magic of Christmas through the eyes of a child!

1. Happy boyz on Christmas morning!! Numerous surprises and “Oh, that’s just what I wanted!” or “How did you know that’s what I wanted?” or “I got it!!!!” as they excitedly unwrapped the one thing they were really hoping they would get.  Being able to give them a special Christmas was all the gift I wanted.  Even if it only lasted 15 minutes!  The memories will last a lifetime! For me, and them, I hope!  Later that afternoon Kiefer said, “This was the best Christmas of my life!”  That makes it all worthwhile!

‘Twas the Night Before Christmas Eve

Twas the night before Christmas Eve, when all through the house,
Not a creature was still, not even a mouse.
The children were all playing in the basement, football being led
When the eldest boy got tackled and hit his dear head.
When all of a sudden Ma heard such a clatter
she ended her phone call and asked “What was the matter?”
When what to her wondering eyes should appear?
But a boy covered in blood, staining his T-shirt, John Deere.
She sprang into action, to her mother-in-law gave a whistle
and calmed the patient with soothing words and a kiss-tle
And the little old driver so lively and quick
arrived in an instant to the ER at Saint- Nick’s 
They waited just an instant till they called him by name
then Doc whistled and shouted to his team in the game:
On nurses! And residents! Social workers! And attendants!
Apply numbing cream! Bandages! Head dresses! And stitches!
To the top of his head they applied three huge staples
and the let him watch movies, gave legos and popcicles!
After three hours wait, they returned to their sleigh 
and three younger brothers asked if they could stay?!
But you could hear them exclaim, err they drove out of sight
Merry Christmas to all – and to all a good night!

Pregnant Mary on a Donkey

Each year, I try to proclaim the birth of Jesus in our house with special, meaningful, memorable traditions.  Some take off, others flop.  This year, I bought a new “Advent wreath” where we light a candle each night as we watch Mary march along the wreath as the coming days of Christmas are approaching.  I had seen this wreath on a blog I’ve followed for years. The author writes and shares snapshots of her family of six gathered around her farm table lighting candles, singing carols, reading scripture and marking the moment.  I wanted that.  I’ve wanted that for years.  And this year, on a whim when Daddy-O was traveling I looked up her blog and bought a wreath from her future farmer and wood working  13 year old son who designed it and mass-produces them. It was all I wanted for Christmas.  A tool to help us make our countdown to Christmas more Chirst-centered. To help us marvel at the miracle and let His light linger around our table each evening. It arrived the morning of December 1st.  Just in time!  I was like a little girl on Christmas morning so excited to set it up!  It was just what I had asked for!  I set it up on our kitchen table and went about my day.  That afternoon each boy, when he got home from school, walked in the door and noticed immediately. “Mom, what’s this?” But they didn’t stop there, they each had to touch it, take pregnant Mary riding her donkey for a spin, pick the wreath up, turn it around, act like they were going to throw it like a frisbee, consider doing it, except Mom was right there watching.  After the interest continued to increase, I began to fear for the safety of pregnant Mary on her donkey. Was she going to survive the next 23 days? Let alone the next 23 minutes?  As the afternoon unfolded, I began to second guess my gift to myself.  Maybe this wasn’t such a great idea. Maybe they’re just too young for this. But the girl the author’s blog was about Kiefer’s age and they show her lighting a candle and marveling at it all.  I know it’s possible… it just will take some training, I tell myself. Trying to be patient. But memories of them excitedly rummaging through my box of Christmas ornaments while decorating our tree days before were still fresh. I try to hand out the delicate ornaments and have them hang them on the tree, but afterwards, my nerves were shot and it felt like they’d looted and pillaged through my past – all the ornaments we’d picked up on our trips or special ones they’ve made through the year flung upon the tree with care!? Hard as they try, boyz just can’t be gentle.  I’m learning that it’s futile to expect it.  I fight it – hard. Probably too hard, but I believe they’re capable of meeting our expectations, I just need to make the expectations clear, right?  But then Daddy-O gently reminds me maybe I need to lower my expectations just a bit.  After raising my voice (we won’t call it yelling, it’s Christmas!) a few too many times that afternoon, Jim suggested that maybe next time I’m on the verge of yelling, I leave the room.  These are special times. I want to create meaningful memories at Christmas that they’ll cling to when they’re older.  And I know they’re all just excited! Fletcher was so excited going to bed after the night of Thanksgiving declaring, “Tomorrow is Christmas!” because in his mind, the day after Thanksgiving, the traditional day when we put up the Christmas tree, is the start of Christmas!I don’t want to ruin their visions of sugar plums by my getting upset with them.  But sometimes harnessing their excitement for the season is a bit of a challenge.  Little did I know that less than a half hour later,  I’d be given the opportunity to take Daddy-O’s advice. While in the midst of the dinner-homework juggling act, they still couldn’t keep their hands off pregnant Mary riding the donkey.  I left the room. No one noticed.  But then, fearing for Mary’s life and wanting to protect my investment, I thought leaving this hand-carved wooden statue among eight hands under ten years old might not have been the best idea. So I swooped back in, grabbed the pregnant Mary riding the donkey and the wreath and escaped to my bedroom.  I sat in the dark and eavesdropped on the shock and awe left lingering in the kitchen below.“I think Mom’s crying.” one boy voice said, explaining to Daddy-O where mom went. “Yea, she left,” confirmed another.  Then around the corner in my still dark bedroom came this sweet little voice, “Mom?”  A concerned Kiefer was crying, too. Now realizing that mom was upset.  I wish I could report that I turned, gave him a hug and told him it was all better and then I returned back downstairs.  But I wasn’t ready to leave my self-induced time out yet.  Daddy-O came to check on me and encouraged me to take a little  break and go to Starbucks… that he’d do dinner.  That sounded quite appealing.  But I sat in the dark a little longer and felt I needed to return to our family table.  No where in that blog did I see a pouting mom take off to Starbucks.  I saw them gathered around the table together – as a family.  So I felt I needed to demonstrate grace.I came back downstairs, advent wreath in hand and I explained to them how we were going to use this and that we would each take turns lighting a candle as we counted down the days till Christmas. And that we would see the light increase as we added candles each night – just like Jesus being the light in our dark world.  We lit a candle, read some scriptures, sang some carols and it warmed my heart.  I’m glad I persevered. I’m glad Pregnant Mary riding the donkey has endured – so far.  But that evening, I did replace her with a Play mobile mom riding a horse. Thinking maybe this is more our speed this Christmas season?But at the boyz request and with promises to be gentle, we brought back the wooden Mary. And as  the days have marched on, I’ve been delighted to see the light increasing at our table. Each night we’ve gone around the circle answering questions of “What’s your favorite part about Christmas?” or “What’s your favorite Christmas Carol?” and then we sing it Or “Name a miracle Jesus did” or the like.  I’m grateful for this new tool, the lessons it’s teaching us all. I need visual reminders. Tangible tools I can touch and feel, see and experience.  And I need to remember that my boyz do, too.  I’m grateful for the prompted decision to extend grace. And also for my loving husband who put the kids to bed that night and let me escape for a while.And that Pregnant Mary on a Donkey… she still marches on… and as a mother of four boys I can’t imagine how uncomfortable that ride must have been, that late in her pregnancy.  One more way mothers can touch and see and relate to the humble arrival of baby Jesus. So grateful she persevered in her journey.  It gives me encouragement to do the same.

The Nonsense-O-Meter

Sometimes the only way to survive is to make light of situations. So, this is my latest survival tool –my Nonsense-o-meter.

Kiefer jumping down the stairs breaking a new adult tooth in half with a sword made out of legos: 10
Carter throwing a metal wine bottle stopper at Griffin and hitting him upside the head with his fast ball pitch: 9.5
Fletcher flipping everyone off at the Doctor’s office when we went to have a wart removed from his middle finger. 8
Griffin kicking a classmate in the “privates” during recess at school after this “friend” did the same to him. (Then they both earned red paws, like a pink slip) 8.5
The never-ending daily squabbles over “he stole my legos” or “he broke my lego creation” 8
Kiefer hooking a water woggle up to the jet in the hot tub to make a monster squirt gun and spraying everyone. 9
Crying over a broken popsicle. 9
Kiefer daily darting out of our garage riding his Razor scooter WITHOUT a helmet. 9
Breaking the neighbors remote control monster truck after all four of our boyz fighting over it for a turn. 9.5
Carter staying up late and missing out on time playing outside to type a hand written report that was due on Friday only to confess over breakfast cereal Friday morning that it really wasn’t a school assignment, he just wanted to finish typing his story in by Friday. 8
Fletcher collecting seed pods from our neighbor’s magnolia tree and putting them in a tupperware dish on his bookshelf without telling anyone until they were completely moldy and oozing when Mom found them weeks later. 7.5
Finding a moldy apple under the couch in the basement when they aren’t supposed to eat outside of the kitchen. 8
Finding Little Debbie snack cake wrappers on my desk when I haven’t eaten any. 7
Mom tripping and falling walking down the steps in our garage and tripping over all the Razor scooters and four pairs of rollerblades that were at the base of the steps that Mom didn’t notice because she had her arms full of trash bags to take out to the trash cans. 9.5
Wet swimsuits found on bedroom carpet in little boys rooms, hours after swimming. 7
Fletcher grabbing my phone and taking 80 pictures of his feet -each time he gets his hand on my phone! 8.5
Kiefer wearing the first swim suit he picks up and it’s never his! He even squeezes into Fletcher’s! Then everyone else has a suit that’s too big for them and we have crying and no one wants to switch into a wet swim suit. 8.5
Kiefer using up the whole box of bandaids when he was making a craft project and we were out of scotch tape! 9.5
Daily fighting over who gets the first chair at the breakfast bar. 7
Fighting over who gets to open the vitamins and hand them out. 7
Finding dirty socks all over the house. 6, no make that 7 because there’s always an odd number of socks found.
Kiefer cleaning the carpet with the tape lint brush! 8
Carter sailing the speedboat into Griffin’s mouth in the pool and making it look like a Jaws scene 9.5 (in front of my friend 10)
Finding Fletcher in the dryer after I was preoccupied sending emails in the laundry room. 8
Finding my bag at the lake attached to the table when it was time to leave. 7
Having to drag Kiefer out of bed every morning to go to school, but on Saturdays he’s up and at ’em bright and early at 6:15 a.m.! 7
Daddy-O fishing out not one, not two, but THREE toothpaste lids AND a toothbrush out of Fletcher’s drain in his sink! 8.5

Follow Me, Boys!

So, we did it. We took the kids on an overnight hike and camped out under the stars. We’ve been “training” them for this for a long time –  allowing them to put up the tents in the backyard  and play with all the camping pots and pans every time we come to Colorado or even set it up in the basement when we come in the winter months. Not sure if it was intentional to make sure they someday wanted to camp out or if it was a delay tactic – maybe a combination of both. But for months leading up to this trip there’s been discussion that only Carter and Kiefer were interested in camping out with Daddy-O.  The consensus among the younger boys was they would rather sleep in the house in warm beds where there were no risks of bears.  Griffin had heard Nana say something about bears living in Colorado so there was no convincing him otherwise. (As Jim tried to convince me years ago when we did our first overnight hike. I knew better, but he still tried.) I bravely volunteered to stay back with them. 🙂

It was evident that an overnight was unavoidable this trip as Carter and Kiefer were into the pots and pans as soon as we arrived and had their backpacks packed with more stuff than I packed for all six of us for our whole trip! (which is really saying something!)
Not that they needed it, but they also had further ammunition that they had recently watched the old movie “Follow Me, Boys!” starring Andy Griffith about the founder of Boy Scouts and with that, the deal was sealed.  Along the few hikes we had done early into the trip were numerous questions of my Eagle Scout husband about “Were you a platoon leader?” or “Have you ever eaten dandelions?” or “Do you know how to tie a sheepshank knot?”and inquiring about what he did for his Eagle project. Did I mention that Carter also found Jim’s old Boy Scout Handbook and he’s now reading it cover to cover deciding which merit badges he will earn first when he becomes a boy scout?  (which he can’t begin until he’s 10 and going into fifth grade – a whole year away!) 
I’m seeing glimpses of how my husband achieved his Eagle Scout by age 13 in our eager beaver son.  Jim has advised against our doing Cub Scouts as it’s more arts and crafts for the younger aged boys and I think he was secretly hoping they wouldn’t take up an interest in scouting. Maybe he had his fill of it? But I can tell you that on countless occasions I’ve been grateful to be married to an Eagle Scout and I always have an anxiety alleviating confidence that if ever we were to be in an emergency situation Jim would know what to do because he just knows how to do stuff. Mostly, it’s just the way he thinks, but I also attribute a lot of his knowledge and know-how to his past scouting days. It’s probably shaped him more than he realizes.
So, we put all these skills to the test and packed the bed rolls, the sleeping bags, tents, flies, water canteens, the camping burner, matches, stuff sacks, rope, pocket knives, flash lights, pots, pans, cooking utensils, bug spray, and enough food and snacks for 24 hours (or at least 12).
As all this flurry of activity was going on around him, Griffin, who had been the most outright opposed to this whole camping idea spoke up and said “I want to go…”  It was the most sincere, genuine plea to be included in this right of passage into big boyhood that I’ve witnessed.  But his older brothers had been looking forward to this father-son, male bonding time in the deep woods just the two of them with Dad started trying to convince him otherwise. “You don’t want to go, remember, there might be bears?” and “There’s not enough room for you in the tent.” or other more self-sacrificial comments like “You would be scared and I don’t want you to not get any sleep tonight, you better stay home with Mom and Fletcher.”  The lobbying continued, but Griffin had had a heart change and he really wanted to go now.  
I knew that logistically for Jim to take three boys up the mountain would require more gear – another tent, anther sleeping bag, more water, more food, etc. He was going to need another back to help carry all the equipment. Not to mention, it might be good to have an extra set of hands.  I then sacrificed my alone time evening that I was secretly looking forward to – putting the boys to bed and then staying up late watching movies or taking a bubble bath or eating cereal alone late into the night and instead I volunteered that we should all go and make this a fun, family adventure.
The eye rolls and huffing that followed were just the beginning of the resistance I was disappointed to receive from my older boys. In fact, it escalated to the point where I had to take TJ’s advice and “walk around the barn a couple of times” but in this case, I went to the grocery store and bought the camping food items needed for six for dinner and breakfast. 
When I returned, I tried to rise above it and focused on packing for the six of us to go despite the reluctance.There were forced apologies, but none the less, we were crashing their party and they weren’t too happy about it.
We packed the backpacks appropriately for each aged boy: Carter, being the oldest carried his sleeping bag, some of his brothers clothes as well as his own, some water, pots and pans and cooking utensils. Kiefer carried his own sleeping bag, everyone’s fleeces, more cooking supplies and necessities. Griffin had all the toiletries including everyone’s toothbrushes, bug spray and the dish soap as well as the all important T.P. and at the bottom of his bag I noticed he had packed his blanket. Fletcher carried his blankie and his favorite dog, Jingles.  Daddy-O and I carried the rest. Three tents, four sleeping bags, two bed rolls, the food, water, the camping burner, our clothes, flashlights, the camera, our iPhones and Jim’s iPad. (which I didn’t know he brought until he pulled it out to read at night! 🙂 Which proves we weren’t too far from civilization, but it felt a lot further away!
We waited out a few rain clouds to see what they would do and decided to go for it late in the afternoon/early evening.  As we hiked along – Jim carrying his 50+ pound pack, me carrying my 35+ lb. pack and the boys each carrying their own weight – the boys started singing “Follow Me, Boys, Follow Me… pick ’em up, put ’em down and follow me!” as the sun was starting it’s descent over the mountain peak casting an angelic glow about them.  We picked an easy trial called North Ten Mile Creek because its near the house with a creek that runs parallel to the trail the whole way up to the beaver dams at the top of the hike.  According to the trail guide book, it should have only taken about 20-30 minutes to ascend, but with full packs and lots of breaks we reached the top an hour later.  We selected a campsite opposite the creek but you could still hear the rushing water of the adjacent creek.  There was already a stone lined camp fire with evidence of previous campers but plenty of firewood was readily available making it a perfect camp site.  With the precision of a military operation Jim had the tents set up in record time – trying to have it all set up before the sun ducked completely behind the mountainside.  I busied myself starting dinner – steak quesidillas with grilled peppers and an avocado relish for those interested or just plain old cheese quesidillas (or a flour tortilla) for the less adventuresome adventurers.  We boiled hot water over the camp stove to make hot chocolate and we warmed up near the fire as the temperature started dropping with the sun.  It was then that Carter came up and apologized and gave me a hug and said he was glad that I had come along.  I was glad I had too.  I would have missed missing this!
Sweet little Fletcher climbed into his tent and put on his jammies and snuggled into his sleeping bag ad was asleep soon after dinner.  The rest of us gathered around the campfire for a few songs and stories.  The nearly full moon peeked out from behind some clouds and served as the perfect night light.  Each camper was bestowed his very own pocket sized flash light in honor of their first overnight hike and soon beams of light were cast all over the valley.  We brushed our teeth using a canteen and went to the bathroom by some nearby trees. Daddy-O secured the remaining food in a stuff sack and tied it up in a nearby tree top.  With all eyes watching as he did that and all knowing the reason why.  It was then time to snuggle into our sleeping bags.  I told stories in each tent by the light of new flashlights and our two younger campers were the first to fall asleep without any trouble at all!
We slept with our tent fly open in case the boys needed us through the night and the full moon shone in as brightly as the sun.  I hardly slept a wink. Between the moon light, which was pretty, but bright, and the slight slope to our camp sight, not to mention the buzzing mosquitos and my vivid imagination worrying about the old beat up van that we parked next to down at the trailhead.  When I finally dozed off we heard Carter calling out for us then later Kiefer awoke and just wanted reassurance we were still in the tent beside him.
All in all, they did very well.  And again, the younger ones whom weren’t exactly well received were actually the ones who did the best.
Jim said he heard hooves clomping along on the upper rocks above our campsite first thing in the morning -I didn’t hear a thing! But we all hatched from our tents at about 5:30-6 a.m. and warmed up near the campfire as the temperature had dropped to about 45 degrees through the night.  We had pancakes and syrup on the metal plates and applesauce squeezed out of the tubes for breakfast along with more hot cocoa. And before I could finish all the dishes Carter had “helped” tear down all the tents and packed his pack.
We would have hiked higher to take in the views except Fletcher was refusing to go to the bathroom in the woods so we decided for his health we should start back down the mountain.  (Jim tried to take him to a nearby rock and he said, “No, I’ll wait till we get home.”)  🙂
In my heart of hearts, I was reluctant to leave.  As I was washing the dishes in the creek I was appreciating the simplicity of mountain living. How little we really truly require to live.  That we literally carried everything we needed up there on our backs. And as we warmed up by the campfire in the morning, Kiefer and I were saying how grateful we were that God gave us fire. You can cook over it and warm up by it. How when it’s used properly, it’s a really useful l tool.   Griffin surprised me the most when he smiled after devouring his pancake and was sipping his hot cocoa from his beat up metal cup, with tousled hair he said, “This was fun. Can we do it again this trip?”
Maybe not this trip, but soon. We’ll do it again soon. And not just in the backyard!
Grateful that we all got to experience our first family overnight together!
 

Tangled

So moms of girls have to deal with tangles in their daughter’s hair.  This mom to four boys had to deal with some different kind of tangles the other day when I had the boys at my parent’s lake place alone for a few days.

We invited some friends to the lake to join us for the day. Why just have four boys when you can have seven instead? But more realistically, moms of boys must band together and my dear friend and I had some much needed girl-catch-up time while our boys splashed and played in the water.

Where things began to get tangled was when we were out in the boat, all 7 boys and two moms, and we were pulling the boys tubing and then skiing. Looping round and round the lake, making an ocean of waves for the boys to bounce through and see if they could still hang on for dear life.  The patient passengers each waited for the next victim to fall into the depths which could only mean their turn was nearing. Each break we took we would all dive into the water to stay cool until our next stop.  But try as they might, the fourteen little hands just couldn’t help but touch the ski rope.  In sincere attempts to “help” they would wind the rope around their arms and make the loopiest loops you’ve ever seen and inevitably they would toss the rope out to the next victim  skier and there would be an enormous tangle, and I’d have to pull in the rope, again, and untangle it and send it back out to the awaiting skier.

Tangled

Brothers awaiting their turn, hopeful at every turn!

You’ve got to keep laughing!

All smiles on the boat

After what seemed like this happening about 20 times, I finally dropped everyone off at the beach with my friend and went back out with the skier and a spotter.

My seven year old spotter, Kiefer, took some pictures of our friend’s last failed ski attempt as I turned the boat around yet again to pick him up to have another go at it, when Kiefer warns, “Mom, you’re driving right over the rope.” Where he might not know yet how to do anything but put knots in the ski rope, he was absolutely correct about his observation and not seconds later we heard this fatal blow of the rope tangling under the boat in the prop and the motor died.

Evidence that we really did get him up on skis before we tangled the rope

I knew better than to start the motor again. I knew what I had done. Kiefer knew what I had done. Now the challenge was what to do next? We were rapidly drifting away from our dock and with one adult and five boys ashore, I started rowing with a ski to try to get the boat back to shore. That didn’t get us very far, so soon after I jumped into the water and put my old life-saving skills to work pulling the boat with the side stroke.  My nine (and a half) year old, Carter jumped into rescue action from the beach. He loaded everyone on board the pontoon boat and was backing out to come get us before I could even ask him to come help. I’d ride anywhere with him driving, so I wasn’t concerned about him captaining the boat and everyone had on life jackets still from our previous boat ride. In minutes they were at my side and we tied a tow rope to the speed boat and were on our way to the dock. We pulled the ski boat up to the side of the dock and my friend jumped off the pontoon to hold the speed boat. Then Carter put the pontoon in reverse to get out of the way but moments later, the comedy of errors continued and he backed over the tow rope and got his prop tangled! Seriously!? Is this really happening? I was still in the water beside the speed boat and I went to where the ladder is on our dock only to find, there was no ladder there! That’s when my friend fessed up that her younger son had been investigating it and in a way that only boys can, he picked it up from it’s hinges and then it quickly sank to the bottom of the lake, a good 18 feet below where I needed it to be!  ( I later re-told this story to my mom, a mother of two girls who asked me, “Why would he mess with the ladder like that?” to which I responded, “Because he’s a boy!?!!”) Boys learn by doing. Not by being told what to do, or not to do, as the case may be.

Captain Carter

I’ve always heard that people are like tea bags, you never know what’s inside them until you stick them in hot water.

I was grateful that my (external) reaction was to start laughing in disbelief! I mean seriously?! Without a ladder, I couldn’t quickly get out of the water, so I started swimming to rescue Carter and his ship full of  ship mates ages five and under.  It makes me laugh now to think that as Carter was reversing (quickly) away from the dock my friend did say “Oh, I should have gone with them…” It’s hard to anticipate what  nine (and a half) year old captain will do. (or how quickly he might do it!) When I finally reached the crew of crazies on the pontoon Carter had already trimmed the motor up and we could all see the tow rope tangled around the prop.  I asked him to take the key out of the engine, which he showed me was around his neck like a necklace and he’d already done that  in anticipation of what I was going to do next. Then I asked for all the little monkeys to come to the side of the boat to watch me so I could keep my eyes on all them. I explained how dangerous it was and to never touch a prop of a boat, etc. Once that point was made, I began to untangle the rope from prop #1. Once that task was completed, I pulled myself up onto the pontoon boat (not an easy task) and we set our course for the dock, where my friend was still holding the speed boat in place.  We docked the pontoon, and then Carter and I walked the speed boat over to its home in the boat lift. Where we then began wars among the minions about who’s turn it was to crank the boat. Each having a turn, we raised the boat up as high as it would go and we could clearly see the biggest tangle of ski rope knotted mess. I boarded the paddle board and laid on my stomach under the boat, again, explained never to do this at home to our young audience and I untangled boat #2.

After the boats were each rescued, we then had my friend’s tall son dive down to rescue the ladder. He retrieved it on the first attempt! Horrah! Successful rescues all around!

The rest of our visit was mainly smooth sailing. Other than Kiefer poured the bucket of water on our campfire before we were really done with it. Oh, well. I guess if he was done roasting marshmallows everyone else was, too!

Summer diet consists of hot dogs and S’mores – either I’m the best mom ever, or the worst! 🙂

All said, I think the two moms and seven boys had a great time! And these tangles are the little snags in life that come with the territory of being moms of boys.  Did I mention what they did to the fishing poles?!?

We moms of boys have to stick together!

Gone fishin’

Piecing Together Memories

We had such an amazing family vacation at Young Life’s Trail West Family Camp last summer that we decided to go back this summer.  Literally, not a week went by when the boyz didn’t mention it – the random dinner conversations of “Remember at Trail West when Francis stepped on a porcupine!?” or “Remember at Trail West when we were called up on stage and had to dance in front of everyone!? (But Carter hid behind Daddy-O’s leg and still did the hand motions!?” or “Remember riding Mac & Cheese” (The shetland ponies who give pony rides to the younger set at Trail West.) or “Remember the sheep talked to us and bleated ‘Donnnnn’t Leeeeeaaaavvvveeee!’?” 🙂 Daddy-O and I would exchange knowing looks that “Won’t they be surprised when they find out we’re going back this summer?!”  But even though we signed up to return around Christmas time, we kept it a surprise and didn’t tell the boyz until the weekend before we left for Colorado.

They knew we were going to the Frisco house for a week of hiking and potentially camping, but they had no idea we were cooking up a surprise return visit to Trail West. We also had arranged with a few other families we’d met there the year previous and we were all returning the same week again – a mini reunion!  I was bursting on the inside so excited to see their reactions when we unveiled our plans.  But just telling them over dinner didn’t seem adequate enough – we needed a bigger build up, more of a Young Life approach to divulging the news.

So, after much thought and some last minute inspiration, I cooked up a scavenger hunt down at the lake one balmy summer weekend before our trip.  Gigi & Papa were down and Gigi helped me run all around the property in the Ranger and the boat setting the clues before we let the kids in on the surprise. It literally took an hour just to set the clues!

I had taken a piece of cardboard and drawn the Trail West logo on the back side of it and had written in large letters “We’re going back to Trail West” on it. Then on the reverse side, I had drawn and cut jigsaw puzzle pieces and I wrote clues on each piece that would lead the boyz all over Lamb Lake! They had to go by boat, land, Four Wheel Ranger, and even tromp through the mud and scale to the highest point of the swing set!  It was an extreme scavenger hunt!

Piece by piece, clue by clue, those who were able to read would take turns reading the clues then all would take turns guessing and deliberating until they would figure out the next location. Then we were off again to sniff out the next clue! Each was set in its location under a rock (That Gigi and I had pre-placed) so they wouldn’t blow away.

Here were the clues:
1. “A relative of Mac & Cheese” bring some apples, if you please.” (off we went by Ranger to the neighbor’s barn to feed Storm the horse some apples, where we found clue #2)
2. “In the barn or sawmill I am parked near, as we all know “Nothing runs like a _______?” (and we were off to the J.D. or “John Deere” to find the next clue)
3.”A view of the lake that Papa Russell made, where we drive as fast as we can yelling “Yeee Hawww” and where the sunsets fade.” (Off to the dam where you can see the full view of the lake and found clue #4 midway across the dam)
4. “An old row boat no more, with my new motor, I can soar! (Thanks to a boy who believed in me!:) “(Back to the dock where the newly restored row boat, newly re-named “Blue Water Tiger” or BWT after Carter dug out an old 8 HP motor to make it into a “speed boat”)
5. “The lost boys would like to use this Island as their hideout but if Hook couldn’t find them, he would pout.” (We took the Blue Water Tiger to the Island near the dam where we found the next clue on the banks of the shoreline)
6. “If you want to jump in the lake, any old edge will do. But if you want to dive in with form, here’s the only place that will perform.” (And we were off, by boat, to Uncle Creepy’s diving board on his swim platform, where we found clue #7 with a rock percariously balanced on one of the pontoons!)
7. “A log cabin designed for play, come for tea parties or an overnight stay.” (And we motored on to Uncle Creepy’s log playhouse and found the next clue on the table inside.)
8. “Girls are allowed as long as they’re moms, but this trail is usually were only boys stomps.” 🙂 (We had to return the boat to the dock, and jump back onto the Ranger were we took off to the Boys Only Trail and found the clue balanced on a log, again being weighted down by a rock.)
9. “Swing to the tree tops, slide down from the skys. This place has seen a lot of highs.” (We raced back to the swing set at Papa & Gigi’s and they climbed up to the tippy top of the slide and found the final clue balanced on the top of the slide.)

Now, they were told in the beginning to keep all the pieces to make it all make sense, but the only one who remembered that detail was Carter, who was in the back of the Ranger frantically piecing all 9 puzzle piece clues together in the end.  With coaching to “Work together…” they soon were all working to piece the pieces together.  Meanwhile, I’m video taping all these moments – on film and in my memory!

When at last, they successfully completed the puzzle and read “We’re going back to Trail West!” They all were flabbergasted and they didn’t believe us!  I was expecting hooping and hollering, but it was more of a breathless shock and awe. But they were surprised alright! With several exclamations of disbelief, “We’re going back!?!”

And we had another amazingly memorable week back at Trail West. It was better in some ways because it was familiar and it was like coming home again. There were other ways it was bittersweet because it wasn’t new…. we knew some of the surprises to expect. But it’s kind of like Christmas morning – seeing it anew from the kid’s perspective made it all worthwhile! They loved it! And they loved seeing some of their same friends again. We made new friends, too, of course. And bonded with some of the YL Summer Staff workers. (But not as much as we did the first year!) But we were grateful that the same leaders returned and we got to pick up where we left off with them, which was also a really special gift.

At the end of the week, they have a brief open mic time where individuals are invited to share what they got out of the week.  Several of the adults shared how special it was to be there with family and create life-long memories together all under the umbrella of renewed and shared faith. One Summer Staffer came into the room just to step up to the mic and shared that he didn’t come from a great home and wasn’t too excited to return home the next day, but he shared how much he had learned observing loving families who were there each week spending time together having fun and he said he wanted to provide that for his family someday. After his boldness, I felt like I needed to stand up and share what was on my heart… (the kids are all in the room to observe this open mic session too!) So, as I was handed the mic and I started saying something about all the fun we have at camp reminds me that I want to be INTENTIONAL about having fun back home.  That’s when Fletcher – my 3 year old- grabbed the mic from my hands and started saying something we couldn’t’ understand …. like “… and she did these clues, …and we took a boat, …and we saw the horse… and we drove the Ranger.”  My mind was trying to piece together what he was talking about as we HAD seen horses at Trail West but none of the other things. I thought he just liked hearing his own voice on the mic and he seriously kept interrupting me so I quickly made a joke and passed the mic back to the guy out of my embarrassment.

It wasn’t until later that I realized that Fletcher had been talking about the Scavenger Hunt that we had done!  As they say, sometimes only out of the mouths of babes!  It was through his 3-year old mind and his puzzle pieced memories that he was literally encouraging me and affirming me – publicly – that I actually DID do something creative and fun. It was such a sweet reminder to me to stop all the mom guilt and remember what I have done!

So this one’s for me to remember… and hopefully they’ll remember, too!?
Happy Trails!

Oh, and we’re going back next summer, too! (Shhhhhh!)

By Their Fruit You Will Know Them

Sometime this past winter we were reading a book from the library that involved berry picking and at that moment, in the depth of deep snow, Griffin, my five year old asked if we could go berry picking this summer.  “That’s a great idea!” I said, and I got out my iPhone and started a list in the notes section: “Things to do this summer” and at the top of the list was berry picking.

We’ve done other fun things so far this summer – swimming, bowling, trips to the zoo and the children’s museum, birthday parties, time at the lake, creek stompin’ at Grandma Camp and many other things, but I wanted to make sure we made good on this promise. So the other night, it was a beautiful evening and I loaded everyone up and we drove up to Spencer Farm way up in Noblesville, nearly 45 minutes from our house. We got there with an hour left before they closed. Perfect timing. The golden light shone on all the berries as we picked them and it was hot enough while we were there I couldn’t imagine coming in the heat of the day.
We picked black raspberries which sure looked like black berries to me, but what do I know? There were other people in the same fields where we were and we learned some tips from the more experienced berry pickers. But in no time, we each had filled a carton and had taste tested several, too.
As we went along, I felt like I was living out Deuteronomy 6 because I was talking to the boys about some of my favorite passages from the Bible about “I am the vine, you are the branches, if a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing… and that you bear much fruit, showing yourselves to be my disciples.” (John 15:5, 8)
No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me.
We are all still works in progress. Needing much tending from the benevolent gardener.  But the act of picking fruit and being able to hand pick the fruit that is ripe was a good reminder of the obvious fruit we bear through our actions. As you sow so shall you reap. Am I planting a harvest of kindness? Of patience? Of love and joy? Or am I planting seeds of bitterness, anger, resentment and impatience? What fruit am I harvesting in my children? I regret to think that many of their faults are actually reflections of my own. In fact, on bad days, these exact thoughts can really get me down.  But on this evening… it was a picture perfect reminder that it’s never too late to plant seeds of the type of harvest you wish to grow.
 
 
 
 
And speaking of harvest- oh my goodness! After paying more than I would ever imagine for a few cartons of black raspberries, we noticed a woman leaving with a box full of strawberries. When I inquired, thinking we could come back another time, they suggested we go down the hill and pick as many as we liked for free as they were past season and looking to have any remaining berries go to good use.
 
We spent another hour picking strawberries! And the boys personalities really came through as we went along. Carter was the ever focused farmer working diligently methodically going row by row gathering a substantial harvest of berries. Kiefer was stepping over and around the rows of berries and was all over the place, eating several and giggling as he went along filling his carton quickly with juicy berries. Griffin, my neat knick and worrier was ready to go and didn’t like getting his hands dirty. He kept asking if it was really ok for us to be there past closing time and would we need to pay for these berries and how would we do that after they closed. Fletcher let his sweetness come out and was delighted with every berry he found and ate nearly a hundred or took a bite out of them and then would put the remainder in his carton. I kept hearing, “Yum!” and “Mmmm” from him and “Oh, look at this little cute one!”then he’d pop it in his mouth.  
  
 
 
  
We had better success strawberry picking and it was more enjoyable being the only ones out there and not feeling any pressure to have to pay for all that we collected. They were just there for the picking. Plus strawberries don’t have prickly thorns like black raspberry bushes. Making them even sweeter!
I learned to follow the sunlight. That if you followed the sunbeams it would reveal where the ripened berries were underneath all the green leaves or past due berries. The light always shone on the good fruit. Perhaps another parable for the picking?
We brought all our berries home and I made strawberry shortcakes for the weekend and I froze the black raspberries we had black raspberry crisp to celebrate the Fourth of July.
The next morning, sweet Fletcher looked up at me in the hallway wearing his jammies, carrying his blankie and said, “That was fun, Mommy. Thanks for taking us berry picking.”
Perhaps there is some good fruit in there somewhere.