Thanks, Great Kate!

Every year, my mom’s best friend, whom we call Aunt Kate, generously buys Christmas gifts for all my kids. The kids call her Great Kate – and she is – in so many ways! I think of her near daily as I’m pursuing to raise boyz – or at least safely escort them to adulthood –as she successfully raised two of her own.  She had two boys and my mom had two girls. Growing up we would often get together to go swimming in their pool or have them down to the lake for weekend adventures. Life with her two boys were always adventures! Especially when Jamie tried to convince Tommy to ride his tricycle off the roof! Or when Tommy and I went swimming in the bathtub together!  It wasn’t until later that I understood why we always stopped by Aunt Kate’s to show her our prom dresses or when we were older she joined us for fittings for our wedding dresses. But when I was a little girl, I always remember she always generously gave us the most wonderful girl gifts for Christmases through the years – monogrammed jewelry boxes that made music when you lifted the lids, pretty silver necklaces, jewelry from her exotic travels and the most memorable –  beautiful bride dolls that looked liked us – each very thoughtful and special treasures that I still have today!

But having raised boys, Great Kate “gets it” and she applies her thoughtful art of gift giving to the task each Christmas.  Somehow she’s always able to pick just the thing that each of our boyz is into that year – last year she gave Kiefer a floating soccer disc that had rubber bumpers on it and lights up when you kick it and it bounces into the baseboards and slides around the kitchen floor – he still plays with it near daily! And she gave Carter a geology rock kit full of geodes, a hammer, eye goggles, a microscope and tweezers where he could hammer the stones open and investigate their crystal centers.  There’ve been lego kits, light up race cars, science experiments – you name it.  Each a boy’s dream come true!

And this year raised the bar even higher with an electricity conduction kit that lights up for Kiefer, a lego kit with gears and an idea book for Griffin, a puzzle with winde up cars that ride the puzzle tracks for Fletcher.  But the piece de resistance — a Nerf cross bow and arrow set for Carter!

This was like the little boy in “The Christmas Story” opening his Red Rider BB gun as Carter opened the box with his mouth wide open as Mom doesn’t allow Nerf guns in the house. But since it was from Great Kate, it was the exception.

For the remainder of Christmas day Nerf arrows were zinging past my head – the breeze blowing my hair up and near misses left and right.  There were near misses of lamps and arrows landing in the fireplace. We all laughed and tolerated the torment hoping the newness would wear off soon.  The day after Christmas their aim got better and I was being struck with the arrows while my back was turned. Again, we’d laugh it off. After all, it’s Christmas.

Soon, Fletcher became interested in the cross bow.  Actually, more like obsessed.  You see, his favorite thing in the whole wide world is his toy sword and sheath that hangs on his belt. He got it for his birthday last June and he still sleeps with it most nights and wears it on his waist belt most days.  He’s obsessed with weaponry.  He makes me fight him in the kitchen as he’ll dig out my turkey baster and my dough hook from my cooking utensil drawer and will place them in my hands saying “You’re Captain Hook, Mommy, and I’m Peter Pan.”  Then I’ll join in and start speaking in my best pirate voice, “Arrrgggghhh! Have Ye Seen My nemesis Peter Pan?” And we’ll continue to sword fight in the kitchen – sometimes ending in the demise of Captain Hook.  Yes, I’d say obsessed is putting it lightly. Then I made the mistake of introducing him to the world of Narnia and now he rotates through being Peter Pan or King Peter the Great from Narnia, and sometimes I get to be the White Witch and other times I get to be Lucy.  (I much prefer Lucy.)

So a few days after Christmas, I wasn’t entirely surprised to hear a large crashing sound in our front hallway.  I came running from the kitchen and before I got all the way there I heard a faint “I’m sorry, Mommy….” from the top of the staircase.  My next observation was that our large brass chandelier that hangs in our entry way was swinging back and forth with great gusto and the loud crashing sound was the obvious demise of the wooden divided light window pane that had fallen from our second story entry window after being hit by a Nerf cross bow arrow and had crashed to the ground.

I’m not sure what gave him the idea to practice target shooting from the top of the stairs – it must be a boy thing. He’d already apologized and he obviously had not meant to cause such damage and I’m grateful to report that I actually didn’t over react this time.  I just calmly walked to the top of the stairs and gently removed the cross bow from the four year old’s hands, then I picked up the stray arrows that were strewn about the front entry way and I walked them outside to the garage where I disposed of them properly.  Sorry, Great Kate.  He liked it a little too much.

Daddy-O went to work with his wood glue and clamps and had the window pane pieced back together and back in the window the next day.

Now I have to figure out how exactly to word all this in a proper thank you note for Great Kate. But she had boys… she’ll understand.  In fact, I bet she’ll laugh her hearty laugh.  After all, she “gets it.”

Mom’s Top Ten (actually 11) Christmas Memories from 2014

11. Can I add an 11th? The boys were so excited to put up our Christmas tree the day after Thanksgiving! They were literally running around the house putting their trees up in their rooms or helping with other tasks. Digging through the gigantic boxes for ornaments and helping test the strands Christmas lights.  Fletcher woke up the day after Thanksgiving and said “It’s Christmas!!!” because to him, Christmas begins when we put the decorations up.  I don’t do a lot of things well as a mother, but I’m pleased that we have set aside the whole month of December to ‘celebrate’ Christmas and that has made a lasting impression on them!


10. Seeing the Yuletide christmas concert through the eyes of a child! Fletcher asking about the puppet Santa, “How did he do that?” “He was REAL!” “He even wiggled!” Fighting the boys to all wear their matching outfits. The oldest put up the biggest fight! Striped socks hanging over the edge of the chairs in the Circle Theatre. Eating Candy Cane Cookies at intermission. Walking around the corner as we were leaving to see the Christmas lights on the Circle. Griffin & Fletcher reviewing it at breakfast the next morning saying, “That Opera Lady didn’t know how to sing ‘Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer’” then imitating her operatic singing style! 🙂

9.  Making Christmas cookies, and more Christmas cookies and more Christmas cookies! And then inviting the neighborhood kids to help us make cookies. There was flour EVERYWHERE! And the look in their eyes when we invited them to join us making cookies. Then on little boy asked Carter, ‘Won’t your dad be mad about all this mess?” and Carter answered, “Nope!”  Hosting a cookie party for several of our school friends and their moms the afternoon before the last day of school. Decorating cookies with Shannon down at the lake the weekend before Christmas.

8.Fletcher’s preschool Christmas program. Seeing him sing all the words and trying not to smile wearing his cute red sweater.

7. Serving together at the Lord’s Pantry food pantry downtown. Praying together before the shoppers came in “Give us this day, our daily bread.”…. grateful for our many blessings. Griffin saying in the car on the way there, “I feel sorry for the people who live in these houses.” Carter totally stepping up to hand out treat bags to the kids with cheer and hospitality.

6. Going to the Children’s museum one afternoon after school for an hour before they closed and getting to see Santa without a wait! And riding the carol-sel – because they played Christmas carols as they rode it!

5. Going to the lake the weekend before Christmas and decorating the house for Christmas, going for a walk in the woods, the boys wearing their hunting garb, surprising Creepy, Sandy and Shannon and Creepy saying, “I wouldn’t be more surprised if I woke up with my face sewn to the carpet!” 🙂 Sitting by the fire, watching Christmas movies and icing Christmas cookies with Shannon – and eating a ton of cookies before dinner!

4.Reading Christmas stories by the fire several evenings before bedtime. And peppermint hot cocoa overflowing in Santa cups with a straw all month long!

3.The boys having a “sleep over” as they camped out on the floor in front of the fire and underneath the Christmas tree and slept there all night! And another night had a “Christmas Music Dance Party!” (Why they take their shirts off for dance parties is another blog for another time! )

2. Seeing Christmas through the eyes of a child! Hearing them discuss things like “Sam on the bus said that Santa’s not real!” and another chiming in, “Oh, well, Santa’s real. Isn’t he, Mom?” or Asking Griffin asking why Santa only brings toys for their stockings and Fletcher answering “Because that’s what the elves make!”  Their excitement and anticipation increasing each day in the month of December and countless requests of “Can we open presents now?” on Christmas eve!!  How they each decorated their own mini Christmas trees in their rooms and enjoying the colorful glow of Christmas lights at bedtime each night. Reading Christmas stories for bedtime!  Leaving cookies for Santa on Christmas Eve. Christmas themed Jammies!  And Then Kiefer excitedly going to bed as soon as we asked him to on Christmas Eve and falling asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow so he could fall asleep fast Christmas eve and Carter saying he was going to stay up to listen for reindeer bells, and then everyone else agreeing, “Yea, I’m going to listen too!” Even Kiefer said, “I’m going to listen in my sleep!” Yes, the magic of Christmas through the eyes of a child!

1. Happy boyz on Christmas morning!! Numerous surprises and “Oh, that’s just what I wanted!” or “How did you know that’s what I wanted?” or “I got it!!!!” as they excitedly unwrapped the one thing they were really hoping they would get.  Being able to give them a special Christmas was all the gift I wanted.  Even if it only lasted 15 minutes!  The memories will last a lifetime! For me, and them, I hope!  Later that afternoon Kiefer said, “This was the best Christmas of my life!”  That makes it all worthwhile!

‘Twas the Night Before Christmas Eve

Twas the night before Christmas Eve, when all through the house,
Not a creature was still, not even a mouse.
The children were all playing in the basement, football being led
When the eldest boy got tackled and hit his dear head.
When all of a sudden Ma heard such a clatter
she ended her phone call and asked “What was the matter?”
When what to her wondering eyes should appear?
But a boy covered in blood, staining his T-shirt, John Deere.
She sprang into action, to her mother-in-law gave a whistle
and calmed the patient with soothing words and a kiss-tle
And the little old driver so lively and quick
arrived in an instant to the ER at Saint- Nick’s 
They waited just an instant till they called him by name
then Doc whistled and shouted to his team in the game:
On nurses! And residents! Social workers! And attendants!
Apply numbing cream! Bandages! Head dresses! And stitches!
To the top of his head they applied three huge staples
and the let him watch movies, gave legos and popcicles!
After three hours wait, they returned to their sleigh 
and three younger brothers asked if they could stay?!
But you could hear them exclaim, err they drove out of sight
Merry Christmas to all – and to all a good night!

Pregnant Mary on a Donkey

Each year, I try to proclaim the birth of Jesus in our house with special, meaningful, memorable traditions.  Some take off, others flop.  This year, I bought a new “Advent wreath” where we light a candle each night as we watch Mary march along the wreath as the coming days of Christmas are approaching.  I had seen this wreath on a blog I’ve followed for years. The author writes and shares snapshots of her family of six gathered around her farm table lighting candles, singing carols, reading scripture and marking the moment.  I wanted that.  I’ve wanted that for years.  And this year, on a whim when Daddy-O was traveling I looked up her blog and bought a wreath from her future farmer and wood working  13 year old son who designed it and mass-produces them. It was all I wanted for Christmas.  A tool to help us make our countdown to Christmas more Chirst-centered. To help us marvel at the miracle and let His light linger around our table each evening. It arrived the morning of December 1st.  Just in time!  I was like a little girl on Christmas morning so excited to set it up!  It was just what I had asked for!  I set it up on our kitchen table and went about my day.  That afternoon each boy, when he got home from school, walked in the door and noticed immediately. “Mom, what’s this?” But they didn’t stop there, they each had to touch it, take pregnant Mary riding her donkey for a spin, pick the wreath up, turn it around, act like they were going to throw it like a frisbee, consider doing it, except Mom was right there watching.  After the interest continued to increase, I began to fear for the safety of pregnant Mary on her donkey. Was she going to survive the next 23 days? Let alone the next 23 minutes?  As the afternoon unfolded, I began to second guess my gift to myself.  Maybe this wasn’t such a great idea. Maybe they’re just too young for this. But the girl the author’s blog was about Kiefer’s age and they show her lighting a candle and marveling at it all.  I know it’s possible… it just will take some training, I tell myself. Trying to be patient. But memories of them excitedly rummaging through my box of Christmas ornaments while decorating our tree days before were still fresh. I try to hand out the delicate ornaments and have them hang them on the tree, but afterwards, my nerves were shot and it felt like they’d looted and pillaged through my past – all the ornaments we’d picked up on our trips or special ones they’ve made through the year flung upon the tree with care!? Hard as they try, boyz just can’t be gentle.  I’m learning that it’s futile to expect it.  I fight it – hard. Probably too hard, but I believe they’re capable of meeting our expectations, I just need to make the expectations clear, right?  But then Daddy-O gently reminds me maybe I need to lower my expectations just a bit.  After raising my voice (we won’t call it yelling, it’s Christmas!) a few too many times that afternoon, Jim suggested that maybe next time I’m on the verge of yelling, I leave the room.  These are special times. I want to create meaningful memories at Christmas that they’ll cling to when they’re older.  And I know they’re all just excited! Fletcher was so excited going to bed after the night of Thanksgiving declaring, “Tomorrow is Christmas!” because in his mind, the day after Thanksgiving, the traditional day when we put up the Christmas tree, is the start of Christmas!I don’t want to ruin their visions of sugar plums by my getting upset with them.  But sometimes harnessing their excitement for the season is a bit of a challenge.  Little did I know that less than a half hour later,  I’d be given the opportunity to take Daddy-O’s advice. While in the midst of the dinner-homework juggling act, they still couldn’t keep their hands off pregnant Mary riding the donkey.  I left the room. No one noticed.  But then, fearing for Mary’s life and wanting to protect my investment, I thought leaving this hand-carved wooden statue among eight hands under ten years old might not have been the best idea. So I swooped back in, grabbed the pregnant Mary riding the donkey and the wreath and escaped to my bedroom.  I sat in the dark and eavesdropped on the shock and awe left lingering in the kitchen below.“I think Mom’s crying.” one boy voice said, explaining to Daddy-O where mom went. “Yea, she left,” confirmed another.  Then around the corner in my still dark bedroom came this sweet little voice, “Mom?”  A concerned Kiefer was crying, too. Now realizing that mom was upset.  I wish I could report that I turned, gave him a hug and told him it was all better and then I returned back downstairs.  But I wasn’t ready to leave my self-induced time out yet.  Daddy-O came to check on me and encouraged me to take a little  break and go to Starbucks… that he’d do dinner.  That sounded quite appealing.  But I sat in the dark a little longer and felt I needed to return to our family table.  No where in that blog did I see a pouting mom take off to Starbucks.  I saw them gathered around the table together – as a family.  So I felt I needed to demonstrate grace.I came back downstairs, advent wreath in hand and I explained to them how we were going to use this and that we would each take turns lighting a candle as we counted down the days till Christmas. And that we would see the light increase as we added candles each night – just like Jesus being the light in our dark world.  We lit a candle, read some scriptures, sang some carols and it warmed my heart.  I’m glad I persevered. I’m glad Pregnant Mary riding the donkey has endured – so far.  But that evening, I did replace her with a Play mobile mom riding a horse. Thinking maybe this is more our speed this Christmas season?But at the boyz request and with promises to be gentle, we brought back the wooden Mary. And as  the days have marched on, I’ve been delighted to see the light increasing at our table. Each night we’ve gone around the circle answering questions of “What’s your favorite part about Christmas?” or “What’s your favorite Christmas Carol?” and then we sing it Or “Name a miracle Jesus did” or the like.  I’m grateful for this new tool, the lessons it’s teaching us all. I need visual reminders. Tangible tools I can touch and feel, see and experience.  And I need to remember that my boyz do, too.  I’m grateful for the prompted decision to extend grace. And also for my loving husband who put the kids to bed that night and let me escape for a while.And that Pregnant Mary on a Donkey… she still marches on… and as a mother of four boys I can’t imagine how uncomfortable that ride must have been, that late in her pregnancy.  One more way mothers can touch and see and relate to the humble arrival of baby Jesus. So grateful she persevered in her journey.  It gives me encouragement to do the same.