Sometimes the only way to survive is to make light of situations. So, this is my latest survival tool –my Nonsense-o-meter.
Kiefer jumping down the stairs breaking a new adult tooth in half with a sword made out of legos: 10
Carter throwing a metal wine bottle stopper at Griffin and hitting him upside the head with his fast ball pitch: 9.5
Fletcher flipping everyone off at the Doctor’s office when we went to have a wart removed from his middle finger. 8
Griffin kicking a classmate in the “privates” during recess at school after this “friend” did the same to him. (Then they both earned red paws, like a pink slip) 8.5
The never-ending daily squabbles over “he stole my legos” or “he broke my lego creation” 8
Kiefer hooking a water woggle up to the jet in the hot tub to make a monster squirt gun and spraying everyone. 9
Crying over a broken popsicle. 9
Kiefer daily darting out of our garage riding his Razor scooter WITHOUT a helmet. 9
Breaking the neighbors remote control monster truck after all four of our boyz fighting over it for a turn. 9.5
Carter staying up late and missing out on time playing outside to type a hand written report that was due on Friday only to confess over breakfast cereal Friday morning that it really wasn’t a school assignment, he just wanted to finish typing his story in by Friday. 8
Fletcher collecting seed pods from our neighbor’s magnolia tree and putting them in a tupperware dish on his bookshelf without telling anyone until they were completely moldy and oozing when Mom found them weeks later. 7.5
Finding a moldy apple under the couch in the basement when they aren’t supposed to eat outside of the kitchen. 8
Finding Little Debbie snack cake wrappers on my desk when I haven’t eaten any. 7
Mom tripping and falling walking down the steps in our garage and tripping over all the Razor scooters and four pairs of rollerblades that were at the base of the steps that Mom didn’t notice because she had her arms full of trash bags to take out to the trash cans. 9.5
Wet swimsuits found on bedroom carpet in little boys rooms, hours after swimming. 7
Fletcher grabbing my phone and taking 80 pictures of his feet -each time he gets his hand on my phone! 8.5
Kiefer wearing the first swim suit he picks up and it’s never his! He even squeezes into Fletcher’s! Then everyone else has a suit that’s too big for them and we have crying and no one wants to switch into a wet swim suit. 8.5
Kiefer using up the whole box of bandaids when he was making a craft project and we were out of scotch tape! 9.5
Daily fighting over who gets the first chair at the breakfast bar. 7
Fighting over who gets to open the vitamins and hand them out. 7
Finding dirty socks all over the house. 6, no make that 7 because there’s always an odd number of socks found.
Kiefer cleaning the carpet with the tape lint brush! 8
Carter sailing the speedboat into Griffin’s mouth in the pool and making it look like a Jaws scene 9.5 (in front of my friend 10)
Finding Fletcher in the dryer after I was preoccupied sending emails in the laundry room. 8
Finding my bag at the lake attached to the table when it was time to leave. 7
Having to drag Kiefer out of bed every morning to go to school, but on Saturdays he’s up and at ’em bright and early at 6:15 a.m.! 7
Daddy-O fishing out not one, not two, but THREE toothpaste lids AND a toothbrush out of Fletcher’s drain in his sink! 8.5
