I had Mimi’s piano tuned today. I can’t believe it’s been in our house nearly two years. That she’s been gone almost two years. It doesn’t seem possible. She died the day that Griffin was 5 months old. She wouldn’t even recognize him now – he’s running around, talking trying to keep up with his brothers not to mention that we added a whole other brother in that time. Life goes on… though her spirit is all around us. It bring such joy and comfort to be surrounded by so many of her things. Things I never imagined that I would have like her dining room set, her formal living room couch, her curio cabinet, the guest room furniture we always slept in, several chairs, tables…. She literally furnished our whole house for us. But the one thing I knew I was getting was her piano. She had asked me long ago if there was anything of hers that I wanted after she was gone. She had already given Sarah her (second!) piano and Mom already had the Steinway, so I was bold and I asked for it. This was at least ten years before she died. In fact, the first time she came to visit our new house, she was perched on the stairs for a breather and looked over the railing and stated with some satisfaction, “So this is where my piano will be….” but I said I didn’t want it for at least another 10 years and for her to still enjoy it.
But there it sits. Now mine. I still call it “Mimi’s piano” when I refer to it around the boyz. I love that it has scrapes and scratches from her fingers playing the keys. I love that I even have the same lamp that always accompanied her playing.
I’m determined to learn to play it. I took lessons from Pat for a while, but life got busy and I got so tired and nauseous with Fletcher’s pregnancy so I stopped. I want to start again.
It had gotten way out of tune. Mom gave me a tuning for Christmas. Mr. Barry came with his tool bag in hand and fixed her up. The boyz were fascinated and thankfully he was quite patient with them. Even with Kiefer calling him Mr. Farris (the name of Carter’s school principal!)
I couldn’t help thinking that it’s a perfect metaphor for the new year. That it’s that time of year to regroup, re-prioritize, get organized, clean a closet, empty the junk drawer, cinch the belt. A clean slate, a fresh start, a new calendar filled with empty pages yet to be filled.
How will we fill our time this year? How will we pass our days? Minutes add up to hours and hours fill our days. Will I carve out ten minutes a day to attempt to play piano? Will I take the time to sit and read to my kids? Will I get down on my hands and knees to play with them?
I have a list of goals – not resolutions but goals and I’m pleased that I took a stab at this blogging thing last year as it was one of my goals. I want to continue down this path as I’ve enjoyed the process of it and I’m enjoying the trail it’s leaving behind. The thing I enjoy the most is that it’s fluid – like life. This format works for me.
Fine tuning. Finding a rhythm, a routine, a plan that works and working that plan. I want to live my life intentionally. The days are fleeting and lately I’ve been reminded how precious life is.
When Mr. Barry was finished, he played Mimi’s piano…. I mean really played…and beautiful melodic music filled my house. And tears filled my eyes. Some goals are worth pursuing.